How To Stay Positive When The Negative Nellies Want To Hate On Your Goals
Maybe you started the new year off with a declaration that sounds something like this: “This is going to be my year! I am done letting fear keep me from my very best life. I know God created me for greatness and I won’t let anything or anyone stop me!”
If that is you friend, let me first say “Heck yeah girl, BOOM! You’ve got this!”
Maybe you haven’t received the same kind of encouraging response from those closest to you? While I wish I could say it isn’t so, you will find there are people in your life who won’t share your sense of enthusiasm for dream chasing or risk taking. You will probably even experience those in your inner circle who are a little jealous and afraid that you might succeed at something they themselves are too scared to even try.
Here’s some simple but profound advice: Take it with a grain of salt because what other people think doesn’t make it true.
If you have been finding yourself lately yearning for a life where you can monetize fun, work and play, a life where you can do what you love and what inspires you while making a great living at the same time but just when you think you have it all planned out and you are ready to take that leap of faith, you are being met with annoying opposition from negative nellies coming out of the wood work to rip your dreams right out from under you, I hope to offer you some encouragement from a simple country girl who’s been there.
Maybe you’ve gone out on a limb and shared your deepest heart’s desire with friends and family only to have them say something like:"
“That's a cute hobby but you can't make a real living doing that"
“Aren’t you too old to start something new?”
“No one in our family is an entrepreneur.”
”Sounds interesting but just way too risky”.
Maybe you got a little defensive and shot back “Why not? Why can't my passions also earn me a little side money and someday turn into a full time gig?!"
Friend I hear you. It can be frustrating to have our dreams shot down, especially by those closest to us. Those who are comfortable being comfortable and not putting themselves out there. I am not knocking those people, am just pointing out the obvious that a bird wouldn’t ask a giraffe to teach it how to fly so why would you go to someone who can barely hold down a job for business advice? Just saying.
It can be easy to allow that voice of doubt to creep in when someone questions your path, that voice that tries to convince you that a job or career has to be a realistic, intellectual choice and not one that comes from your heart.
When I first got my entrepreneur passion fire lit inside of me I was following the traditional path in corporate America. I was also a mom and while I enjoyed parts of my job, there was something inside of me that was starting to shift. I started asking myself if it was possible to have the best of both worlds; earn a good living and do it from home.
I started fantasizing about what it would be like to be my own boss, to have time freedom. To sleep in, no rush hour commutes with time to enjoy a two hour lunch date with a friend in the middle of the week, stay home in my pj’s when I felt under the weather and not have to call and explain female issues to anyone, to pick my boys up from school, to go grocery shopping in the middle of the week, to travel as a family without the worry about how much vacation time I had left.
The more I visualized what working from home and having that kind of lifestyle would look like, the more I desired to make it a reality. When I shared that verbally to those closest to me, there was usually an annoying realist trying to rain on my parade.
“You can't make money doing that. Do your 30+ years, invest wisely and you can enjoy a nice retirement in your golden years".
But I wanted to live a life that I could fully enjoy NOW, on my owns terms and by God why couldn't I!? Who did these Debbie Downers think they were telling me to question what I felt was best for my life? Why couldn't I work hard and play hard?
I had to make the decision that me, myself and I knew what was best for my life and it was time to make my passions a priority.
I began to shift my mind set. I read everything I could about being an entrepreneur, followed the stories of others who had transitioned from their full time jobs to business ownership, I shut off the T.V. and other negative forces and read inspirational books. I surrounded myself with people who had what I wanted, I became a sponge soaking up everything I could that would help me take what was written on a dream board to a living proof reality.
MY reality.
If you want to master a craft you have to be fully committed and I was ALL IN no matter what anyone else had to say about it.
So friend, what about you? Are you willing to disregard the doubters so you can run wide open to what sets your soul on fire?!
TURNING YOUR PASSION INTO A CAREER WON'T HAPPEN OVERNIGHT BUT YOU CAN EMBARK ON AN INCREDIBLE JOURNEY ONE STEP AT A TIME AND STAY POSITIVE WHEN OTHERS ARE HATING ON YOUR GOALS WITH THE FOLLOWING TIPS.
1. Shout It Loud and Proud!
I know this seems strange to shout your goals to the world when you know many won’t share your spark but I promise you it’s empowering to know that you are planting seeds in others who need to be encouraged in their own journeys. Most of the amazing women I have met in my life came from my own belief in what I am doing and getting messages like “you inspire me! Thank you for showing me that my goals are possible too!” And you know what’s funny, some of those people will be the ones who in the beginning tried to discount you. They just needed to see you be bold and brave!
2. Have faith in yourself
Where there is hope there is faith, where there is faith, miracles can happen. Make a decision to go all in for betting on YOU. The faith the size of a mustard seed can move mountains. When you give God the seeds of your dreams and give Him room to work through the effort you put in daily there is nothing that can stop you. Nothing.
3. Don’t take it personally
Ever heard the expression “let it roll off your back.” If you are the type of person who needs validation from others in order to put one foot in front of the other or take criticism personally, this will be an area that you will need to stretch and grow yourself. You may want people to support you and that is understandable, we all want to be supported but you don’t need other people to believe, agree, validate or even care about your goals. When someone has anything less than encouraging to say about the path your are on, remember it’s a reflection of their own doubts and lack of faith in themselves not you so learn to let it roll off your back and not take it personally. Just tell yourself to “bless and release”.
4. "Comparison is the thief of joy" Theodore Roosevelt
Launching a business is not for the faint of heart. It’s going to take all you've got to pull it off and you will run across people who make it look "easy". Don't ever compare yourself to someone else's success. It's not going to be easy so don't let anyone sell you that lie. Is it worth it, absolutely yes but easy, no. You will face challenges, failures and resistance from yourself and others but this is your life changing story not anyone else’s.
5. Surround yourself with positive like-minded people
Your friends and family for the most part mean well. It’s hard to give advice about something you don’t really understand so don’t seek it from people who don’t have similar goals. Instead, remember them for who they are and share every day life with them like you always have while you work to surround yourself with a tribe of like-minded people who get you and what you are trying to do. Remember my analogy earlier about the bird and giraffe? Don’t seek out a giraffe for a flying lesson, instead go find another bird who can show you how to fly!
At the end of the day, remember who you are and who God created you to be. Its doesn't matter that your sister thinks running a business is “crazy” or what your miserable co-worker who's life is in shambles but has the fix-it answer for everyone else thinks about the life you dream about. You were destined for greatness and you have to believe that from the very depths of your soul. If you don't believe in yourself, you can't expect anyone else to either.
6. Buy yourself some flowers
When all else fails on those really hard days, and you will have them, when someone is just being downright rotten and you question your sanity, go by yourself a big bouquet of your favorite flowers. Take them home, put them in a vase and place them right on your desk. Let them serve as a reminder that you can bloom and flourish where you choose to plant the seeds of your dreams!
Believe that you deserve to experience all that life has to offer. Declare that no matter what happens, how many set backs you have, that you will relentlessly pursue your definition of a meaningful life. One that brings you an abundance of joy and fulfillment.
